Sound of Surviving Blog

I’ve often wondered where and how God’s working in my life. What is he doing? I don’t see anything happening. I just see stagnation. There’s not much he could be doing through me, I sometimes feel. I’m doing things, yes. I’m pushing through, sure, but most days I’m barely holding on.

Going for interview after interview, submitting application, after application, and constantly getting rejected once employers realize I’m disabled is exhausting. I often wonder why God won’t just let me get a job, and the devil tricks me into thinking that I’m not good enough for God to use me.

But I’ve learned something from all of this, despite how frustrating it often seems. God is not finished with me. His plan for me and for my life is far greater than anything that I could ever imagine.

God often tests our faith, not to show us how strong we are, but to show us how strong he is. He’s not sitting up there, ignoring us; no, just like a teacher preparing her students for the next grade level by building their knowledge, God is building our faith through our trials. He is teaching us to lean into him, so that others can see him, and his light in us, through our journeys.  

God knows exactly what he is doing; just because we can’t see behind the scenes, that doesn’t mean that the end result won’t be amazing. God’s plan for your life, and for mine, is far more beautiful, and perfect, than anything our earthly minds can comprehend.

We don’t always have to know what the end result is going to be, to know that it will be spectacular.  As humans, we have a tendency to want to know everything in advance. I know people who won’t read a book until they know that the ending is going to work out well for the main character. We want to know that everything will be okay in the end. And when we can’t see that, can’t comprehend how God is using things in our own lives, it scares us.

Often Satan uses our fear to his advantage. He tries to tell us that we must not be good enough, or worthy enough, for God to ever do anything with our lives, or to use us. But can I let you in on a secret? Those of us whose faith is tested repeatedly, whose purpose seems so unclear, distorted, and murky, God will use for something so amazing, and incomprehensible, so powerful, that when we see it, we’ll realize why he was saving it for the end. Surprise endings are so much better than predictable ones.

But thankfully, God is not finished with you, or me yet. We have evidence of this, in the Bible. Philippians 1:6, states, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” God is using us, still developing us, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Verses like Isaiah 64:8 (“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”), and Ephesians 2:10 (“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”)  remind us that God is the ultimate masterpiece maker.

And masterpieces not only take time, but they undergo some pressure, and they are uniquely created. Not one sculpture or work of art looks like another. Surely, we can expect that our God, the artist and sculptor of all the Earth, not only has a different blueprint for each masterpiece, but will create works of art so glorious within us, that all will see his most amazing pieces come to life through us.

So, I’ll continue to trust God knowing that he’s not finished with me yet. I know that he works all things together for the good of those who love him, and that one day, he will reveal his masterpiece in me, and I sure can’t wait to see what he comes up with.