Sound of Surviving Blog

The other day, I watched the sunset. I don’t think watching a sunset will ever cease to amaze me. I love that every sunset is different; no two are ever the same. Every day, at dusk, various colors fill the sky, blooming like flowers, seas of pinks, reds, oranges, yellows, and purples.

It made me think of how endings can be beautiful. They can also symbolize the promise of something new coming. The gift of the sunset is a valuable lesson for anyone, but especially for those of us with chronic illness.

You see, as a person with chronic illness, there have been many endings I’ve experienced, most of which, were things I did not want to end.

I’ve experienced lost dreams, lost hope at times, lost friends, who have passed away due to the same condition I have. But each of these losses, somehow, in their own ways, has taught me that God is still good. That his light, like that of the sun, shines the brightest in the dark.

One thing I’ve learned from losing friends to illness, is that their story doesn’t end with the sunset; their legacy lives on, shining bright as the morning sunrise, long after they’re gone. Their stories bring hope and love to all who knew them. And although this thought doesn’t always ease our pain, we can think of it as even though the sun has set on their time on earth, the sun is rising down on them as they enter into Heaven’s gates, free of pain, bodies made anew.

There are many, many dreams that I had growing up as a little girl, that I might never get to reach. There are things I longed for, relationships, jobs, and pursuits, that I’ll never get to have. They were snatched away before I could even start to reach for them. It often felt like the sun was setting on those dreams.

But then, just as darkness was settling in around me, overwhelming me, God’s light shone brighter than I could ever imagine, just like the burst of colors in the sky at sunset, God was shining his light so that I could realize that my old dreams had to die so I could get a better picture of the bigger, better, miraculous dreams and plans that he had in store for me. After all, how would we appreciate the stars, if the sun never set?

Just because I couldn’t see God working to make my dreams come together in a way that I could never imagine, it didn’t mean he left me. After all, in Psalms 34:18, we read that “God is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” You see, God is closest to those who endure hardships, who endure pain, even when it doesn’t feel like it. If we can choose to lift our eyes from weeping, we will see the sun is rising. God’s preparing a way for us, even in the darkness, the sunrise, a new beginning.  I no longer mind the sunset, because I know that an even more miraculous sunrise the next morning.

Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.