Sound of Surviving Blog

The other day, I saw lyrics to a song on my Facebook memories. After I read the lyrics I had posted, not remembering the exact tune, I looked them up & listened to the song. The lyrics were from Meredith Andrews’ “Not for a Moment (After All)”. Listening to the words, they resonated so strongly with me, and I felt a little emotional, but mostly in awe of God’s love for me.

As I listened to this song, it made me think of how God had carried me through everything, even when I couldn’t see him or hear him. After my brain tumor surgery, while I was in the ICU, I wasn’t so consciously aware of what was going on around me, and this time was mostly spent drifting in and out of sleep. And during all of this, while my brain and body were attempting to process everything, trying to figure out what was happening, God was carrying me through. At this point in my journey, with my sight now tremendously limited from my stroke and surgery complications, compared to my normal vision, and my ears were clogged with the grogginess of sleep, and while I heard snippets of conversations, I could never really fully grasp onto what any of the words floating around me meant. But God was there all along, holding my hand, whispering his promises to me, even when I could not hear or see him or anyone else.

And as I look back now, on that time of my life, I realize how far I’ve come, even though it often feels like I’m nowhere close to where I should be, and still have a long way to go before I get there. The lyrics, “I was held in your arms, carried for a thousand miles to show, not for a moment, did you forsake me,” remind me of how God not just walked along with me, but carried me through every step of every one of those days in the hospital, and every day since then. He’s been leading my vessel through the stormy waters, and guiding me with a beacon of light, to the calm, still waters.

And my journey was not all for nothing. God didn’t carry me all that way just to drop me off and say, “Whelp, see you later.” No, he carried me through for a thousand miles to show that he never left me. To show not just me, but everyone else, that if we just reach out our hand, he will lead us through the storms of life.

You see, God doesn’t do anything for no reason. Everything God does is for a purpose, even if we can’t see it yet. I can look back on that time, to show others, through my faith, how He helped me through it all. I can show other people that, after all I’ve endured, and after all I will continue to endure, that God is still good. I’m still here, and I think that’s what truly matters. That God carried me through, and I get to take that guiding beacon of light God offered me, and pass it on to someone else who’s looking to be guided out of their own storm.

I can promise you, after seeing how miraculously God has worked in my own life, that nothing happens to any one of us without God being in it, weaving each second of our lives into a bigger purpose, into his plan for our lives.

And after all, God is still good. After all I’ve endured, even when life gets difficult, and my heart is breaking, I can trust that he is with me still, that he hears my prayers, even when I can’t hear his voice, and that his plan for me and for my life is still only good, and that he will never leave me nor forsake me. Not even for a moment.

“You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see

In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all, You are constant
After all, You are only good
After all, You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear

I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all, You are constant
After all, You are only good
After all, You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

And every step, every breath, You are there
Every tear, every cry, every prayer
In my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me

Even in the dark, even when it’s hard
You will never leave me, after all

And after all, You are constant, ooh, yes
After all, You are only good
After all, You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me”- Meredith Andrews