Sound of Surviving Blog

I think at one point or another in our lives, we all look at the lives of those around us and wonder why we can’t be more like them. We all wonder what our lives would be like, how much easier things could be, if we could just be like those people.

 I think this is especially true for those of us who suffer from chronic illness. We often see friends and family members doing things we could only ever dream of doing, and can’t help but think, “I wish I could do that, or I wish I could be like that.” We often think, “Well, if I just had this or that, or could live my life in that way, that’s all I’d need”. If you’ve ever had similar thoughts, don’t feel bad; we’re only human. I often think to myself that I would give anything just to live one day in someone else’s shoes, just to be “normal”.

Then I read a quote from Anne Wilson the other day, who stated, “I compare myself to others and come up short every time. But that’s because I was never meant to be them.” That realization hit me so hard, but it made me come to a realization. Each of us is created differently. We were each made for a divine purpose. God didn’t create us to be just like everyone else; He created you and me to be just that: YOU and ME.

The thing is, we can try to reinvent ourselves, to not be the girl with the brain tumor, or the sick girl, and we can try to be different than who we are; we can say things like, “New Year, New Me”, and so on, and maybe we can, reinvent ourselves for a little while; but ultimately the truth is that we can never change our purpose, we can’t change who God made us to be.

We can only live our lives, that we do have, to the fullest potential that we can, for ourselves, and for God. That doesn’t mean that we can’t dream of one day having a life like others, but rather that until we get there, we can try to be content with and grateful for the life we’re living now.  

We can compare ourselves to others constantly, and long for the lives that they get to live, falling short every time, or we can choose to compare ourselves to ourselves, who God called us to be, and live our lives to our fullest potential. I can long to be normal, to be like everyone else, to be able to do this or that, or I can long to be the person who God formed me to be.

I wasn’t made to be “normal”, none of us were. I will praise God, because like David says in Psalm 139:14, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” God’s purpose and plan for us and for our lives is wonderful and divine, and we should never strive for anything less than that.

You see, we often look at the world’s version of the bigger picture, forgetting that God’s bigger picture is the ultimate masterpiece. If I didn’t have all of the trials and flaws in my life that I have had, that I often wish I hadn’t endured, and if there hadn’t been nights where I sat alone, in the silence that often surrounds those of us with chronic illness, I’m not so sure that I would’ve had time to have heard God’s still small voice, in such a chaotically loud world. And for that, I am eternally grateful.